very bare much naked wow

Description

Don’t let the simple appearance of “Very Bare, Much Naked. Wow” fool you. This new lip balm formula contains five fantastically beneficial oils and vitamin e – all of which will work together like those cool little environmental superheroes who battle evildoers who pollute the earth to leave your lips feeling like the sensual beasts they once were. You know, before they got totally fracked.

net wt 4.8g

totes natural, palm-free, vegan-friendly, cruelty-free and contains no parables. Except for this one:

“The Drunkard” by Ignacy Krasicki
Having spent at the bottle many a night and day,
The ailing drunkard threw his mugs and glasses away;
He declared wine a tyrant, reviled beer, cursed out mead.
Then, his health restored… he’d no longer abstinence heed.”

I’m pretty sure the moral of the story is: buy my lip balm and don’t curse out your mead.